A Dilemma
Sometimes I post on my blog just for a sympathetic ear. This time I want answers!! And well, sympathy.
You know how it goes. Well, if you are a family where the mommy stays at home with the kids and the daddy works. Mom has the kids ella sola from wake-up through the day until daddy comes home. Right?
We could discuss the amount of time daddy has with the kids and compare it with mommy. We could talk about fair and equal treatment.
But I'm not going to focus on that today. ;) What I really want to discuss is this:
When your husband IS home and WILLING to help you out, WANTING to spend time with the kids, do you continue to act as lead parent?
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Ya. That's me. My name is Laura and I'm a control freak.
Or would you call it that? To me, it's just doing what works. Not messing with the system. It seems like the easier way to go.
It's hard to leave the room and let my husband try to figure out what is going on and what to do about it when I KNOW what will happen (because it happened two hours ago) and I've experimented with solutions until I have found something that works.
How can I leave him in that unfortunate position, not to mention leaving the kids with mixed messages and confusion.
Describe to me a co-parenting solution that sends the kids consistent messages and brings parental fulfillment to both mommy and daddy, AND takes into consideration limited time for parents to talk with each other and/or model methods to each other. Oh, AND allows for individuality. Since my husband has a hard time "being me" and after my conversation about "grace space" just wouldn't be right to expect of him.
We need this. To be a connected parental team. I'm sure there are books that speak to this. Seems like I've read something recently.....need to find it.
Talk to me.
Is there anyone feeling me on this one?
You know how it goes. Well, if you are a family where the mommy stays at home with the kids and the daddy works. Mom has the kids ella sola from wake-up through the day until daddy comes home. Right?
We could discuss the amount of time daddy has with the kids and compare it with mommy. We could talk about fair and equal treatment.
But I'm not going to focus on that today. ;) What I really want to discuss is this:
When your husband IS home and WILLING to help you out, WANTING to spend time with the kids, do you continue to act as lead parent?
Because you know how to put that little one down for their nap. You know the tricks to keep that potty trainer dry. You have routines that work and the kids know what to expect with you!
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Ya. That's me. My name is Laura and I'm a control freak.
Or would you call it that? To me, it's just doing what works. Not messing with the system. It seems like the easier way to go.
It's hard to leave the room and let my husband try to figure out what is going on and what to do about it when I KNOW what will happen (because it happened two hours ago) and I've experimented with solutions until I have found something that works.
How can I leave him in that unfortunate position, not to mention leaving the kids with mixed messages and confusion.
Describe to me a co-parenting solution that sends the kids consistent messages and brings parental fulfillment to both mommy and daddy, AND takes into consideration limited time for parents to talk with each other and/or model methods to each other. Oh, AND allows for individuality. Since my husband has a hard time "being me" and after my conversation about "grace space" just wouldn't be right to expect of him.
We need this. To be a connected parental team. I'm sure there are books that speak to this. Seems like I've read something recently.....need to find it.
Talk to me.
Is there anyone feeling me on this one?