all a blur

Sometimes life can get a little blurry.

I don't like blur. I want everything to be crystal clear, perfectly in focus, just right. Perfect.

You know it's all a metaphor, right? Things get out of wack -- baby stops napping, evening schedule just doesn't work anymore, food doesn't get eaten -- and Mom starts grasping for something to hold on to.

I like structure. Something to count on. I like to know I'm doing the right thing at this very moment. I'm meeting my goals. I'm meeting the needs around me. There's a good rhythm. It's hard when things start to blur.

And usually the blur is caused by the tears in my eyes.

But. Check it out.

Yes, there's blur. But there is also a very happy boy jumping with abandon.

I need to learn to jump like that. When things don't turn out how I planned, when I'm not sure what to do...I'll jump into life and live it the best I can.

This sounds so cliche.

But I've been in the fetal position mentally for the past two days. Reeling. Trying to sort out the blur.

Trying to climb the mountain of change. Trying to come to terms with the life I have.

It helps to see things from a new perspective. To see the possibilities that change might bring.

To realize that falling flat on your face might not be all bad. Maybe even funny.

And to know that through it all, there will always be someone to hug. Things will be OK. Go ahead. Jump.