Self-Imposed Time-Out

This is going to be one of those posts where I type and erase, type and erase, type and erase.
It's hard to talk about stuff that we don't want to admit to.

Being irrational.

Emotionally charged.

Being a woman.

Are we really proud of it? Man. I just don't like the "crisis week" that seems to come around on a fairly regular basis. And always seems to hit me square between the eyes when I just remarked a few days ago about how even-keeled I've been lately. Yay me.

Oops. *insert foot in mouth*

Every woman deals with this. Every woman tries so hard to appear calm, collected, poised. We have it all put together, right? And then that castle we try so hard to maintain gets leveled by one massive wave.

I am very ashamed of my behavior. It's not fun to lash out at the ones we love the most. It feels like there is some untamed beast within. At least this Very Hard Week of The Month tends to bring about positive change, since I'm always struggling so hard to find solutions and get back on my feet.
More scheduling. More fun times with kids. More alone time for mom. Earlier bedtimes.

And more self-imposed time-outs.

Because as bad as it can be to spend all our time putting curtains in that castle and spreading out our table as pretty as can be, just for appearances, it's not good to wallow in self-disdain and miserableness either. So I problem solve. I talk it out. I write it out. I make lists. I prioritize. I address my needs.

And that helps me feel better.

One thing I've learned in life and marriage with kids is that hiding my feelings isn't the answer. I need to tell my husband when I feel like I'm on an emotionally slippery slope. I need to tell my kids when their behavior is causing me annoyance or frustration. I need to be honest. It's hard. I haven't got it all figured out yet.

And the hardest time is when my emotions are so super-charged -- I don't even understand them all myself.

Wahoooo -- it's a roller-coaster.

I'm trying not to erase.

So. Want to hear my solutions?
#1. Go to bed earlier {8:30pm!}
#2. Set aside morning time to be completely alone {shouldn't be too hard, everyone's still sleeping at 4 o'clock}
#3. Guard my personal time and make it count {one night a week from 5-8pm}
#4. Multi-task less. Be fully present when it's time to be fully present.
#5. Assert myself. Tell my husband when I need a time-out. Don't feel guilty.
"Women". *sigh* We really are a special breed.

So, think positive.

Look for solutions.

And then say goodnight to the boys. :)