[musings] emotional needs in marriage

Here's what is on my heart tonight: what exactly is a husband's job in marriage? how many of his wife's needs is he intended to meet?

In my experience, it seems the female brings untold emotional needs into the marriage and the male brings in his fair share of physical needs. Now, the physical needs are to be met by the wife, no questions asked, but what about the emotional needs? Is it solely the husband's responsibility to listen, empathize, endeavor to understand and find solutions, and actively participate in applying that emotional glue to a marriage? It seems like a lot to ask. Maybe because in our marriage, it has been a lot to ask.

Emotional needs go unmet, tension builds, and hurt feelings arise.

I've read in Captivating and other books that a woman needs to find her emotional solace and comfort in God. Her needs are too vast to expect a man to be able to meet them. Dr. Dobson talks about men not knowing how to deal with a woman's "soul hunger" and realizing they can't possibly satisfy her every emotional need. He suggests cultivating meaningful female friendships, which has become harder and harder these days {so many reasons}.

Meaningful conversation is awesome. But it doesn't happen very often these days. So many reasons.

My husband and I had a nice long{ish} talk this evening while the kids played at the park. That was long overdue. I'm thankful for the glue it brought back into our lives. It gave me hope for the future. I just look around and see so many weary parents and hope we learn to somehow invest in each other. I'm often weary. I know my husband is too. So many needs get left unmet for the sake of the children.

Your turn -- what do you think about all this? Husbands meeting needs? Women bonding with each other on a deeper level? Kids taking so much of our energy we don't have much left for each other?