[faith] don't turn away

why are you trying to earn grace?
why are you crying?
let me lift up your face
just don't turn away

and please don't fight
these hands that are holding you

i started my morning walk feeling troubled, anxious, and guilty. every time i go to walmart the wave of humanity hits me like a hot fog. i wince, avert my eyes, exhale thoroughly. it's just that so many people are down and out, at least that's how it looks to me. and i wonder what they think about God. i wonder if they wish their lives were better. i wonder how in the world i could help.

an ongoing situation having to do with boundaries and loving our neighbor gives me plenty to think about as well. how can we lift people up without causing dependency? how should we best help? how much should we avoid contact in an effort to keep our boys innocent? how to love appropriately?

here's the thing: it is about time i embrace my humanness and admit defeat! seriously. the only way i can truly help others is to let Jesus do it through me. so i prayed for understanding, for clarity. i prayed that the Holy Spirit would be close, teaching me what to do, what to say. i prayed for humility. i prayed that God would help me walk the fine line between contentment and risk. i prayed for courage, wisdom.

see, so often i cry at the sadness of orphans. i cry at the perceived apathy in the church. i cry at the challenge of raising my own kids. i cry at my anxious inability to make life work for anyone.

but Jesus says, lift your face to me! look to me for answers! don't turn away! don't fight my hands that are holding you and the rest of the world!

it can sound so cliche. i know. but it's really about time we let Jesus do the work.