It's been way too long since my last real-life report on things around here {like a month!!}. Last time I talked about optimism and how overstimulated I was feeling. Are things better? Welllllll....yes and no. Trust me to be difficult and not give you a clear answer.

Here's the thing -- when I put a lot of effort into de-stimulating my environment {lots of routine, not many people, early bedtimes, morning exercise and quiet time for me, simple days with not as much food or activities} the little people, and my husband, kind-of get rebellious.

They're all -- where are the cookies? and when can we go to a friend's house? and why do we go to bed so early? and I want to go to the pool again! So. We live on a teeter-totter. I don't get to live the way that I want to live all the time. And the three boys put together are heavier than me unless I jump around up there and cause a commotion. Then they let me down.

Being at odds about how to live our lives is stressful. Solutions are out there, I'm sure....probably involving a lot of compromise. We just haven't found that happy middle ground yet. This weekend I'm bracing myself for another hair-raising ride up on the teeter-totter. I'm gonna try real hard to enjoy it.

This is the slide that Peter finally decided he could handle. I wish I had a picture of the happy smile each time he came around the last corner. He'd jump out of the water and say, again?! Forty-nine inches from head to toe. Just barely tall enough. Fear conquered.

In my previous life, I don't remember being so terribly serious. But mothering brings out the mama bear in me -- watching for anything with peanuts, putting on the life jackets, stopping misbehavior, encouraging manners, worrying about bedtimes, and there's plenty more. I can always find something to worry about at any given moment. I don't like it...I don't need it. It makes me tired and grumpy. But someone's gotta be the mature and responsible one and I feel like it's me. I dream of the days when I'll be able to lighten up and laugh more and not have to fight the many battles.

My husband thinks that's possible now. I envy their ability to be so carefree.

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