150 Beats Per Minute

I went to my second OB appointment today. It was a quick measure/heartbeat check, but reassuring nonetheless. Doc says twins are unlikely (phew!). He doesn't like to guess gender based on speed of heart-rate and always says 'oh, it's right around 150 or 160'.

We're scheduled to 'see' the baby in two weeks. I am really hoping to find out whether it's a boy or girl at that time. We will also have a bit better idea of the due date after the ultrasound. But I'm still going to say 'June'.

I can't quite put my finger on my emotional outlook this pregnancy. Definitely not super excited or already out buying baby gear like last time. Quite a bit nervous about the thought of a new baby in the house. Unhappy about the weight gain. Really uncertain about how siblings interact and what parenting more than one looks like (being an only child). Questioning how I will be able to love and care for another child -- Peter gets it all at this point!!

I'd really like to tell you that I'm excited and in love with my body and embracing this whole pregnancy. I'm hoping that will come with time. I'm thankful the nausea is mostly gone and I've got a bit more energy. The crying comes and goes...but fun with friends definitely helps. Fortunately time is going quite quickly, because nine months is a LONG time!! Come on spring...