Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday, where we can share a few of our secrets, maybe a couple things we've done that we’d rather forget. Or maybe they're just hilarious. Why share? Because it’s therapeutic and makes us all feel less alone. Remember -- no means yes. Every smart four year old knows that. ;)

You wouldn't catch me changing a very poopy diaper out on the grass using water from my Nalgene to wet kleenexes as substitutes for wipes. You wouldn't see me huffing and puffing and saying "hold still" as the wet tissues disintegrate, leaving me with many wet and dirty pieces. I didn't finally resort to pouring water directly onto his bottom, legs up in the air, hoping that would help things soak up a bit. He had, after all, been hiking with a messy diaper for a while. I would never have suggested we keep going and change the diaper later, despite the stench. Not me.
I didn't get a pretend ticket for speeding this morning from Peter, the police officer. I would never have ignored his notice {to go buy a car} and thereby receive another ticket for not following directions.
The cap is his sheriff's hat.

I wouldn't consider eating the pile of dumped yogurt off the floor, the yogurt I just put in his bowl for his snack. I didn't consider justifying the idea because the top part of the pile wasn't even touching the floor.

My child would never go to a different bathroom {after just being reprimanded for making a water mess} and begin filling a cup with water and dumping it directly onto the bathroom floor. Not my child!

I would never pass on one of my Pinterest-inspired projects to my husband, thinking he'd probably do a better job than me anyway. I don't give him endless projects to work on in his spare time. No way. Not me.
I'm not the kind of mother who would lock a room after cleaning it, to keep the kids out. I would never laugh out loud when my poor child has to pee and can't get to either of our toilets because the doors are all locked.

You know I wouldn't fail to read the soup recipe until after I had diced up five potatoes instead of one.

I wouldn't be silly enough to let my kids try out the gifts we bought for needy children in town. I wouldn't see how much fun they are having and consider buying two more. So they could each have one. I'm more rational than that.
My child, when asked "what word am I looking for" would never have quickly answered "poop". Not my child. And when I replied "no, the word was rational" he didn't instantly rhyme back "passional". Not him.

Have anything you need to share? Anything you didn't do today? Tell me in the comments or on Facebook!

Mckmama- Not Me Monday